he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
