Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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