I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize