I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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