It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Randomize