4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Randomize
