I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
