there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
