hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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