So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
