What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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