okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
