We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
