So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
