I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
