Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
