Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.

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(314): View more from Missouri

so how does one go about finding a summer fling?

(214): View more from Texas

take advantage of an intern

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(323): View more from California

I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.

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(631): View more from New York

Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.

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(631): View more from New York

Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao

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(216): View more from Ohio

If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children

(1-617): View more from Massachusetts

Maybe you should talk to him first

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