Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
