I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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