If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
