"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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