I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
