Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
