so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
