Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Liz is crying about burritos again.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Randomize
