I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
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