Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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