when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I wish you could order shots online.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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