You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
