"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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