I seem to have left my pride at pride
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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