Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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