also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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