Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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