Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Randomize
