Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize