I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i jhust puked up my retainher.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
