if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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