do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
