Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
We need a shit load of segways right now
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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