and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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