Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
