He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
