we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
