Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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