The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
