At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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