I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
