Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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