Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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