I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
