i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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