we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
