My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
