My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Drunk is not a location!
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
