ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
