Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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