Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
