oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
love makes seman taste better
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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