i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
